First Year Potions
by Eagle Lord
Summary: MWPP time potions. Interesting teachers and events. One of my first, so R/R please.
1. Day One: Insane Professor

Disclaimer: I do not own any of this expect Bills.   
  
First Year Potions:   
  
The Terrible Potions Master:  
  
The four Marauders, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter walked with Lily down to the potions room. It was their first year and they knew that a new professor was waiting.  
  
They entered the room to see a short man standing at the board with a paper sign around his neck. It said "Bills". The four looked at each other.  
  
"Suppose that's his name?" James questioned.  
  
"Yes it is." Lily told him. "I met him in the Great Hall yesterday. He seems like a very nice man."  
  
"Whateva, know-it-all." Sirius shouted out a great deal louder than he needed to. He then bounded over to a seat and jumped up on it.  
  
"What's he doing?" Peter asked Remus. Peter was a little embarrassed from time to time hanging out with Sirius.  
  
"I think he's not sitting down." Remus replied and took the table behind Sirius with Peter.  
  
James sat next to Sirius and looked up at his best friend. "The seats are quite nice, really." James noted.  
  
Bills spun around and adjusted his sign. He looked at the Gryffindors and Slytherins (even back then they were together for potions). He had an insane glint in his eye.  
  
"Hey," said James, "He has an insane glint in his eye."  
  
"I can hear you speak!" Bills cried, glaring at James.   
  
"Yay you." Remus commented.   
  
"Shut up." Bills yelled. He took off his sign and put it down. "I will now call the role."  
  
"How exciting." Sirius said as though he really meant it. He was still jumping up and down on his chair.   
  
Bills spun on him. "Sit down! First, Potter."  
  
James raised his hand. "Here, but I don't come first in the alphabet."  
  
"I'll run my class my way, if you don't mind." Bills snapped and then threw the paper away. "I'm sure no one would miss my class anyway."  
  
"Sure." Lucius Malfoy said, looking bored. "By the way, I'm a *Malfoy*. Thought you ought to know."   
  
"I wish you'd stop saying that." Serverus Snape said, sounding very annoyed. "Give it a rest, we know you are."   
  
"I don't care who you are." Bills told them. "Shut up and listen."   
  
"No one tells me to shut up!" Malfoy yelled. "I'm a Malfoy!"  
  
Sirius whispered something under the table and Malfoy's lips sowed over. He made a strange noise and ran out.   
  
"Thank you!" James shouted after him.  
  
"Guys . . ." Peter tried, but decided the damage was done. He would just shut up. Bills slammed something heavy down on the desk and everyone looked at him.  
  
"Now," He said slowly, his voice rising, "We will learn about poisons."  
  
"Poisons?" Snape repeated. "Isn't that kind of advanced and, well, dangerous for us?"  
  
"Wimp." Sirius grinned, giving himself bunny ears.  
  
"What are you doing?" Snape asked, looking at him in a strange way.   
  
"Oh, I made it up." He said. "It goes with wimps, because bunnies always run away from you. Isn't it cool?"  
  
"No." Said Snape. Bills was looking very annoyed. He pulled ajar green liquid out of a cupboard.   
  
"Be quiet now, all of you!" He yelled. James looked around at Remus.  
  
"What's in the jar?"  
  
"Dunno." Remus shrugged. "Maybe the blood of his late wife or something, who he killed for not listening."  
  
"I can hear you speak!" Bills cried, throwing the jar into the air. James dashed to catch it at the same time Snape did. There was a crash and a loud explosion. Peter groaned, his face singed. This, unfortunately, was not the end of the days troubles.  
  
*** Ok, it's not that great so far, but more is to come. 


	2. Day One Part Two: Insanity

James, Snape and Peter cleaned themselves up while Bills glared on with an evil eye. They were just about to start class when a tall boy with dark hair and a happy smile walked in.  
  
"That's Jimmy." Lily informed them. "He's a second year Slytherin."  
  
"Hey Bills, Prof, whatever." Jimmy said cheerfully to the annoyed teacher. "I left my stuff in here ... last year."  
  
"I have asked you repeatedly to collect your items before leaving my class." Bills growled. This obviously happened a lot.   
  
"Right, well, your class is last, see, an I just run out." Jimmy grabbed a book and a cauldron from the floor and looked around. "Hello first years!"  
  
"Right." A kid named Avery said, looking Jimmy over. "Carter, is it?"  
  
"Huh?" Jimmy cocked his head to one side.  
  
"You know, Jimmy Carter!" A boy called Rosier said. He was also a Slytherin who had been try to telepathically lift his books in the air all class.  
  
"A president." Lily clarified.   
  
"Oh, one of those American thingies." Jimmy said. "No, that's not my last name."  
  
"What is it?" James asked, trying to delay class. Bills was looking murderous. Jimmy was looking kind of confused.  
  
"I don't want to tell you." He said, frowning at James.  
  
"Why, do you now have one?" Remus asked.  
  
"Like a vampire? Are you a vampire?" Sirius asked, looking kind of hopeful. He was bored already and looking for some action.  
  
"No, of course not!" Jimmy said. "Anyway, I have class."   
  
"It's day, shouldn't you be getting back to your coffin?" Avery sneered.  
  
"I'm not a vampire! Why does everyone always say that?" Jimmy seemed quite surprised.   
  
"Everyone?" Rosier looked up from his books. "You must be then."   
  
"Hey, Rosier, you're not psychic!" Snape told him. "Stop trying to lift things. Yesterday he went around with his fingers pointing at his head making 'weeoo' noises. It's getting annoying."  
  
"Well if you all would stop distracting me, you'd see that I am psychic." Rosier pouted.   
  
Jimmy shook his head and left with his things. Bills looked at everyone and sniffed the air in a disdainful way.   
  
"Hey," James noted, "Bills is sniffing the air in a disdainful way!"  
  
"I can hear you speak!" Bills shouted again.  
  
"We know you can hear us speak." Remus informed him. "What a freak."  
  
"I can hear you speak!" Bills yelled again. Remus rolled his eyes and went back to the book he had decided to read. The class wasn't going anywhere.  
  
"Anyway," Peter tried nervously, "We are going to learn about poisons?"  
  
"Do not attempt to teach my class, student." Bills snapped ay Peter. Peter looked confused. "Yes, we will be learning about poisons. First, you should all look up five poisons and write where they came from and what they do. Pass them in by the end of class."  
  
The class settled down to do this for about five minutes. At that point Snape raised his hand and said he was done.  
  
"Already?" Remus asked, surprised. "Teacher's pet."  
  
"TEACHER'S PET!" Sirius yelled, crossing his arms and sticking his feet in the air.   
  
Snape stared at him. "What are you doing now?" He groaned.  
  
"Oh," Sirius smiled even wider, "This is my 'teachers pet' thing. I do it when people are one. Pretty cool, huh?"   
  
Bills was getting fed up, but luckily class was over for the day. Everyone passed their papers forward.  
  
"Mr. Black?" Bills questioned. "You have not written anything. This paper has a drawing of a . . ."  
  
"Motorcycle gang!" Sirius helped brightly. "I like motorcycles. Some day I'm going to have one." 


End file.
